Recovery Devotional 345 Carnival Mirrors

JMD Devotional 345 Proverbs 11:2-3 Carnival Mirrors

When swelling and pride come, then emptiness and shame come also, but with the humble (those who are lowly, who have been pruned or chiseled by trial, and renounce self) are skillful and godly Wisdom and soundness. The integrity of the upright shall guide them, but the willful contrariness and crookedness of the treacherous shall destroy them.

I remember polishing silverware as a child, usually near a holiday when we were expecting guests. Polishing spoons was the best part of that chore, because once they were bright and shiny I would look onto one side, and then the other and amuse myself with the distorted image of myself. The convex side would make my nose look much bigger than it was, and the concave side would make my image upside down and shrunk. Carnival mirrors are amusing because they distort reality. They can make an average person appear as skinny as a rail or as fat as a weather balloon. What is not amusing is that in a much more subtle sense our minds do this all of the time to protect our ego. The character flaws we share with others become amplified in them and diminished in us; the stature of others is diminished making us seem more prominent. We also tend to shrink our giftedness to keep our expectations low, which foolishly avoids situations in which we might fail (and just as possibly succeed!) We cannot directly address the unconscious filtering our mind performs to protect our ego; but we can work on our self perception and bring it back to reality so there is not so much ego to protect. Then we will see ourselves and others more clearly.

Proverbs 4:25 (AMP) Let your eyes look right on [with fixed purpose], and let your gaze be straight before you.

Dear God,

It is just as wrong to think too little of myself as to think too much of myself; help me to see right on. My spirit is wounded still, my inner child cries, abandoned and outcast, searching for love and acceptance. Another part of me has taken over for long forgotten bullies, beating myself up for every shortcoming and minor mistake; I am my own cruel oppressor. I unconsciously chase people away so I can avoid the pain of rejection. Why do I have so many masks for my public face, why cannot I just be myself? Thank You for giving me glimpses into my psyche, as uncomfortable as it is, to see my depravity. Tell me again why You love me so I can love myself. I need to love myself more so I can love others as I should. Help me by faith to see myself one day conformed to the character of Jesus Christ. Continue Your healing work and the repairs I so desperately need to be whole and secure in You.

Amen

All (but*) quotes are from The Amplified Bible, published by

the Lockman Foundation. (AMP)

Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation

*New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

**Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. (Eugene Peterson's easy-to-read, contemporary Scripture translation)

I originally produced these blogs between 2006 and 2007, which were then published in my book, JMD Recovery Devotionals. In 2010, I am sending these out to a few people as I review them and see if my point of view has changed.

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