JMD Devotional 173 Hosea 9:7 Resistance from Within (the Church)
The days of visitation and punishment have come; the days of recompense have come; Israel shall know it. The prophet is [considered] a crazed fool and the man who is inspired is [treated as if] mad or a fanatic, because of the abundance of your iniquity and because the enmity, hostility, and persecution are great.
Death has been on my mind since I was three years old, when I saw a family pet run over. After that incident I literally dragged my mom across the street whenever we crossed to avoid giving another traffic accident a chance. Spiritual truth was relevant to me very young. The Gideons gave me my first New Testament Bible in the first grade, and I read it a 'zillion times by grade six. God gave me a sense of mission and a spirit of boldness; inspiration burns in my heart sometimes like the spirit of a prophet. When I was ten years old, I was writing my own gospel tracks and handing them out to all kinds of people at a popular lake near my home. Several times I was nearly grabbed by transients I was witnessing to. I have been cussed at, spit upon, and ridiculed many times; but I could take that knowing well in advance how the world treated the Jesus I served. However, what blew me out of the water and what did deter me was how other 'Christians' treated my desire to serve God. I was always an outsider because I was self-taught and found God without much human help. Instead of encouraging my enthusiasm they tried to make me tone down, stand down, conform and blend in. I was told countless times to 'stay away from the book of Revelation and from the prophets; to give a packaged and sanitized presentation of the 'Gospel' rather than speaking from my heart and passion, to not offend or be too bold. I responded to the call to preach at fourteen, and my parents scolded me, and told me I would starve, and only someone who wasn't good at anything 'useful' would be a preacher. Church leaders, more concerned with the status quo than nurture worked to suppress my zeal by fogging absolutes. Many of my early teachers majored on who and what groups to mistrust rather than focusing on understanding what was right. Church leadership, afraid of my fanaticism (because God REALLY MATTERED to me) pushed me into their programs and set up mediocre followers as 'examples'. They filled me up with materials composed of men's opinions and little Bible. Then I ran the gamut of facing every cult and variation of denomination trying to assimilate me by discrediting all of the others; which led to more confusion than a young man could take. I thrashed around; I went to a pastor for help; and was told to keep my doubts to myself because I might hurt someone else's faith. He said, 'either get with the program or get out!' He ultimately had me thrown out of the church. I was so bewildered. I could have dealt with any worldly persecution; but the church looked to me like a hateful monster! The churches I experienced were more like a well-orchestrated play than a pursuit of reality; a social function rather than a personal mission, and spiritual things were something to consider only in moderation as long as they didn't encroach on the 'rest of one's life' or materialism: all of which added up to me as false belief. I tried for the next seven years (of my early twenties) to convince myself that there was no God until I ran out of energy to deny the abundantly True. I am still trying to recover from the enigma of the church as I have experienced it. In many ways it was 'rabid faith'. I have often reacted badly to rejection by going astray myself in retaliation. Too many times I've blamed God. I know I came into the Church with a lot of personal problems; but the way I was handled by people was iniquity, enmity, and hostility: i.e. sin.
Dear God,
Am I a mistake? Are all of the people who want me to change wrong? Is even this a part of my training? I know that all Christians have need of change and growth; but may I take my basic bent as a given, something unique that You crafted in my soul because You wanted it there? Please affirm the part of me that is a gift that cannot and should not be changed so I can distinguish it from what does. Help me to fulfill my purpose. Help me to love the church even if I am to be rejected often. Am I a thorn or a heretic? What am I? I desire the Church to shine, to fulfill her mission, to be a place of healing and not hurt. You know I would rather be invisible than make a fuss of my own creation. By Your own power she will be what she's supposed to be at the proper time. Please help me to deal well with her here and now.
Amen
All (but*) quotes are from The Amplified Bible, published by
the Lockman Foundation. (AMP)
Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation
*New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
**Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. (Eugene Peterson's easy-to-read, contemporary Scripture translation)
If you know of someone who would like to subscribe to
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Short, concise, thought-provoking.
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http://SaintJamesPoetry.blogspot.com
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Death has been on my mind since I was three years old, when I saw a family pet run over. After that incident I literally dragged my mom across the street whenever we crossed to avoid giving another traffic accident a chance. Spiritual truth was relevant to me very young. The Gideons gave me my first New Testament Bible in the first grade, and I read it a 'zillion times by grade six. God gave me a sense of mission and a spirit of boldness; inspiration burns in my heart sometimes like the spirit of a prophet. When I was ten years old, I was writing my own gospel tracks and handing them out to all kinds of people at a popular lake near my home. Several times I was nearly grabbed by transients I was witnessing to. I have been cussed at, spit upon, and ridiculed many times; but I could take that knowing well in advance how the world treated the Jesus I served. However, what blew me out of the water and what did deter me was how other 'Christians' treated my desire to serve God. I was always an outsider because I was self-taught and found God without much human help. Instead of encouraging my enthusiasm they tried to make me tone down, stand down, conform and blend in. I was told countless times to 'stay away from the book of Revelation and from the prophets; to give a packaged and sanitized presentation of the 'Gospel' rather than speaking from my heart and passion, to not offend or be too bold. I responded to the call to preach at fourteen, and my parents scolded me, and told me I would starve, and only someone who wasn't good at anything 'useful' would be a preacher. Church leaders, more concerned with the status quo than nurture worked to suppress my zeal by fogging absolutes. Many of my early teachers majored on who and what groups to mistrust rather than focusing on understanding what was right. Church leadership, afraid of my fanaticism (because God REALLY MATTERED to me) pushed me into their programs and set up mediocre followers as 'examples'. They filled me up with materials composed of men's opinions and little Bible. Then I ran the gamut of facing every cult and variation of denomination trying to assimilate me by discrediting all of the others; which led to more confusion than a young man could take. I thrashed around; I went to a pastor for help; and was told to keep my doubts to myself because I might hurt someone else's faith. He said, 'either get with the program or get out!' He ultimately had me thrown out of the church. I was so bewildered. I could have dealt with any worldly persecution; but the church looked to me like a hateful monster! The churches I experienced were more like a well-orchestrated play than a pursuit of reality; a social function rather than a personal mission, and spiritual things were something to consider only in moderation as long as they didn't encroach on the 'rest of one's life' or materialism: all of which added up to me as false belief. I tried for the next seven years (of my early twenties) to convince myself that there was no God until I ran out of energy to deny the abundantly True. I am still trying to recover from the enigma of the church as I have experienced it. In many ways it was 'rabid faith'. I have often reacted badly to rejection by going astray myself in retaliation. Too many times I've blamed God. I know I came into the Church with a lot of personal problems; but the way I was handled by people was iniquity, enmity, and hostility: i.e. sin.
Dear God,
Am I a mistake? Are all of the people who want me to change wrong? Is even this a part of my training? I know that all Christians have need of change and growth; but may I take my basic bent as a given, something unique that You crafted in my soul because You wanted it there? Please affirm the part of me that is a gift that cannot and should not be changed so I can distinguish it from what does. Help me to fulfill my purpose. Help me to love the church even if I am to be rejected often. Am I a thorn or a heretic? What am I? I desire the Church to shine, to fulfill her mission, to be a place of healing and not hurt. You know I would rather be invisible than make a fuss of my own creation. By Your own power she will be what she's supposed to be at the proper time. Please help me to deal well with her here and now.
Amen
All (but*) quotes are from The Amplified Bible, published by
the Lockman Foundation. (AMP)
Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation
*New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
**Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. (Eugene Peterson's easy-to-read, contemporary Scripture translation)
If you know of someone who would like to subscribe to
my daily devotional, please forward.
jamesdinsmore_32907@yahoo.com
Short, concise, thought-provoking.
More features:
http://SaintJamesPoetry.blogspot.com
http://recoverydevotional.blogspot.com/
http://jamesezadventures.blogspot.com/
posted by James M. Dinsmore at 7:33 AM
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