Recovery Devotional 313 Don’t Reason with the Grieving

JMD Devotional 313 1 Samuel 30:1-6 Don’t Reason with the Grieving

NOW WHEN David and his men came home to Ziklag on the third day, they found that the Amalekites had made a raid on the South (the Negeb) and on Ziklag, and had struck Ziklag and burned it with fire, and had taken the women and all who were there, both great and small, captive. They killed no one, but carried them off and went on their way. So David and his men came to the town, and behold, it was burned, and their wives and sons and daughters were taken captive. Then David and the men with him lifted up their voices and wept until they had no more strength to weep. David's two wives also had been taken captive, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess and Abigail, the widow of Nabal the Carmelite. David was greatly distressed, for the men spoke of stoning him because the souls of them all were bitterly grieved, each man for his sons and daughters. But David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God.

Tragedy and crisis bring out primal, unreasoned responses from people. The shock of a sudden loss can provoke a person to utter awful things, to lash out at anyone close, even to blaspheme God: some experiences are just too much for the brain to handle in real time. I have seen a lot of loss and have been to too many funerals; one thing it has taught me is that reason has to take a vacation so people can fully express their grief and reel about in the flood of emotion to slowly reconcile themselves to an altered reality. We grew up thinking a loved one would always be there, that professions, homes and status were stable, that life was predictable: but none of those are true. David did the right thing; he did not confront the people saying he ought to be stoned, he withdrew and let them grieve, he did not defend himself or try to reason with grieving souls; he drew close to the one unchanging entity in the Universe and found his solace there. He entrusted himself to God.

Dear God,

I laugh at the thought of being the captain of my own soul, the master of my own destiny; yet I find that my reflexes take me to self-reliance when I really need to lean on You. I am better at choosing a course of action after the fact than in real time; my brain gets flustered in the face of a crisis. Help me navigate through the unexpected. Plot complications remind me that I am not in charge. Jesus promised us temporary trouble in John 16:33, but gave us eternal hope. Help me to be compassionate with others who grieve, and to be sensitive to their loss and understanding of the grieving process.

Amen

John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

All (but*) quotes are from The Amplified Bible, published by

the Lockman Foundation. (AMP)

Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation

*New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

**Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. (Eugene Peterson's easy-to-read, contemporary Scripture translation)

I originally produced these blogs between 2006 and 2007, which were then published in my book, JMD Recovery Devotionals. In 2010, I am sending these out to a few people as I review them and see if my point of view has changed.

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