Recovery Devotional 299 Amplified Torment

JMD Devotional 299 1 Samuel 1:1-8 Amplified Torment

THERE WAS a certain man of Ramathaim-zophim, of the hill country of Ephraim, named Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite.

He had two wives, one named Hannah and the other named Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none. This man went from his city year by year to worship and sacrifice to the Lord of hosts at Shiloh, where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were the Lord's priests.

When the day came that Elkanah sacrificed, he would give to Peninnah his wife and all her sons and daughters portions [of the sacrificial meat]. But to Hannah he gave a double portion, for he loved Hannah, but the Lord had given her no children. [This embarrassed and grieved Hannah] and her rival provoked her greatly to vex her, because the Lord had left her childless. So it was year after year; whenever Hannah went up to the Lord's house, Peninnah provoked her, so she wept and did not eat. Then Elkanah her husband said to her, Hannah, why do you cry? And why do you not eat? And why are you grieving? Am I not more to you than ten sons?

All of us born into this sin-cursed world suffer from conspicuous deficits. (If they were not already painfully obvious to us in and of themselves); it seems that there is always some cruel soul who delights to point them out. We do not ‘measure up’ in our physical attributes, social status, intelligence or on the indefinable ‘cool’ scale. It seems that you cannot escape your self-appointed critic, the amplifier of your distress and embarrassment. There is always some undeserving bully that we unconsciously give the right to be our judge and tormentor; we let such a person become an ‘expert’ in what matters and ourselves, reinforcing our self-doubt and sense of unworthiness. When oppression becomes especially distressing, you might wonder why God allows it to go on. In this story, it builds to a point which provokes Hannah to cry out to God; it may serve the same purpose in our lives.

Dear God,

I have always had ample critics, and many cruel tormentors have delighted in my suffering. I had so much of this in my formative years that now my own mind has replaced them with my own self criticism and condemnation. I am not good and I am not kind to myself! Why has my own mind become my enemy? Why do I foster self-defeating thoughts? I am a bad parent to my inner child; critical, harsh and judgmental; with impossible standards. Oh Lord, hear my soul’s bitterness which no levy could hold back---know my retched estate and pain! Jesus knows! He has felt it all. The Man of Sorrows shares and bears my grief. Father me, for you are a far better parent to me than I am to myself; show me Your mercy and compassion. Help me to recognize the distortion and outright lies in the slander, whether it comes from without or from within. Heal me.

Abba Father! Reassure me, tell me who I am.

Amen

All (but*) quotes are from The Amplified Bible, published by

the Lockman Foundation. (AMP)

Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation

*New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

**Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. (Eugene Peterson's easy-to-read, contemporary Scripture translation)

I originally produced these blogs between 2006 and 2007, which were then published in my book, JMD Recovery Devotionals. In 2010, I am sending these out to a few people as I review them and see if my point of view has changed.

If you know of someone who would like to subscribe to my daily devotional, please forward.

jamesdinsmore_32907@yahoo.com

Short, concise, thought-provoking.

More features:

http://jamesdinsmoreblogs.blogspot.com/

Christian, devotional, recovery, addiction, purity, faithfulness, integrity