Recovery Devotional 270 Divine Umpire

JMD Devotional 270 Colossians 3:13-15 Divine Umpire

Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive]. And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony]. And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].

Imagine a football game in which one party is “off-sides”, and the other team responds by dispensing with another rule in retaliation. How quickly that game could degenerate into a riot! In our first year or two of marriage counseling, so many sessions were less than productive as we tried to get the counselor to see the problem was not ours; but really our spouse, and that ‘they needed to be fixed’. For every critical observation my wife had, I had a counter attack in a litany of complaints and flaws I saw in her behavior that I believed justified mine. We put on a Punch and Judy show for our counselor. He never once bought it; he always brought us back to our individual responsibility before Christ to do what is right and to love our mate unconditionally. Half of all marriages end in divorce, largely because two selfish individuals answer only to themselves. We did not begin to make progress until we each accepted the Lordship of Jesus Christ even of our marriage; when we finally accepted that no matter what our spouse did, we had to answer to God for our words, actions, attitudes and demeanor. We had to quit withholding love, care and affection based on perceived performance; but to love with no strings attached because God demanded it. Yielding to the power, presence and authority of that ‘third party’ in our marriage made all of the difference in our recovery. Christ has to be the center of our marriage and our very lives to live in harmony.

Dear God,

How foolish and petty I have been; to be so critical and controlling; to behave so badly when I did not get my way; to fight to get the last word in; to try to score points while crushing spirits; to be so obstinate in my quest for self-justification: when all I had to do is yield to You to make my life better. My wife is the best thing on earth I have; but for so many years I was so blind to this blessing. I thank You for marriage counselors; specifically for the one who endured five years of our antics: bless him. Please use our marriage to show others who are sliding into despair that change is possible. Hope is well placed in You.

Amen

All (but*) quotes are from The Amplified Bible, published by

the Lockman Foundation. (AMP)

Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation

*New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

**Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. (Eugene Peterson's easy-to-read, contemporary Scripture translation)

I originally produced these blogs between 2006 and 2007, which were then published in my book, JMD Recovery Devotionals. In 2010, I am sending these out to a few people as I review them and see if my point of view has changed.

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